In my previous post, I claimed to be housework-challenged. I wasn’t lying. But I have a defense. In my opinion, household hygiene is not all it’s cracked up to be.
You often hear people complain about how much effort they have to put into cleaning their homes. They should stop moaning. All it takes to make household chores much less burdensome is a simple change in attitude.
I’m not talking about the bobble-headedly sanguine outlook of “just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” No, I propose an attitude adjustment that will have a much more tangible effect. For example, dust forms a natural protective coating on my furniture. Looked at from this perspective, it would be foolish of me to remove it. Needless to say, I don’t bother dusting. I’m not stupid.
In addition, if I drop food on the floor, I don’t rush to clean it up. The insects and vermin that inhabit our homes evolved to live off our droppings, among other things. What’s more, their evolution occurred in concert with human evolution. Who am I to argue with such a powerful force as evolution?
(If you’re a theist, you have an even stronger reason not to clean up. Clearly, by your rationale, God placed those insects and vermin there for a reason. Do you really want to risk the wrath of God by depriving His creatures of even one of their food sources?)
Therefore, I leave the fallen food where it lies. Eventually, the insects and vermin will clean it up for me. Insects and vermin are our friends.
Household Hygiene: Our Immune System’s Enemy
I’m also convinced that incessant cleaning leads to a weakened immune system. The way I see it, I’m much better off leaving lots of germs around to give my immune system a good workout so it can stay in shape. What does this mean in practical terms? I don’t clean my toilets.
Insulation
Papers left lying around on the floor after you finish reading them provide good insulation that can protect you from cold floors. Furthermore, by reducing the need to heat your home, this also reduces your production of greenhouse gases and, thereby, helps to save the planet.
However, make certain that the papers remain scattered about higgledy-piggledy as the dead air between them that provides significant insulation. (Note: People who live in warm climates can’t use this rationalization and, therefore, have to find another one.)
(Note: The digitization of paper is our enemy in this regard. Has Big Tech no concern for the environment?)
If you follow my few helpful hints your housework will drop to almost nothing in no time. I’m glad I could be of service.
(Oh, by the way, I live alone and don’t allow anyone to visit. This probably also goes a long way to explaining why I’m still single.)
