Why do deeply religious people spend so much time praising God? That’s something I’ve never understood.
I’m not a believer but, as I understand it, God is supposed to be omniscient. Isn’t that so?
Note: I addressed the issue of deity pronouns in a previous post. I’ll use “He” here, but I feel uncomfortable about that.
Well, if God knows everything, wouldn’t He know He’s great? Why does He need a bunch of religious fanatics incessantly telling Him how great He is? Isn’t He tired of hearing that by now?
Really. I’d get tired after the first two or three million people praised me each day. Or at least I imagine I would. I’m hoping for two or three people in my life. I’m still waiting. I’ll let you know. But enough about me.
In the exceptionally unlikely event that there is a god, He’s probably up there saying, “Enough already with the ‘God is great’ and ‘praise be to God’ crap. I’ve had it up to here with that garbage. Shut the hell up and get back to work, you lazy bums.”
(You can tell how perturbed God is because He doesn’t usually use words like “crap,” “hell,” and “bums.”)
And another question I have: Being a deity, do you really think he gets such a big kick out of having his personal pronouns capitalized all of the time? Is that really necessary?
Is he going to strike me dead for using “he” and “him” rather than “He” and “Him?” I don’t think so. It hasn’t happened yet and, outside of this article, I often don’t capitalize the pronouns I use for god.
At least, that is to say, he hadn’t struck me dead as of the time of writing. I can’t promise that I’m still alive when you read this. Death happens.
Praising God to Build Self-Esteem
Maybe God has low self-esteem. Is that it?
Is God sitting up on a cloud somewhere moaning, “I’m no good! What a worthless piece of celestial doo-doo I am! Look how I totally screwed things up with my creation of humans. They get diseases. They’re body’s design is filled with mistakes. They’re brains are so feeble that they can’t figure out how to get along without killing, maiming or raping each other. And they’re totally mucking up the planet I created. What the hell was I thinking when I created them? I must be a moron. If I weren’t eternal, I’d kill myself!”
Then, to buck him up, his followers go about relentlessly praising God. “Oh no, Lord. You are great. You are so truly and wonderfully great. Praise be to You, oh great One.”
Is that it?
Godly Insecurity
Or maybe he’s insecure. Perhaps he needs external validation. Maybe he needs everlasting confirmation that people love him. Frequently praising God would probably fulfill that.
He might be moping around crying, “Am I loved? Does anyone love Me? They probably hate Me. I know it; they hate Me. And if they hate Me, how can I go on living eternally? How can I?”
But his followers come through once again. “Oh, we love You, God,” they intone over and over. “Really and truly, You are our one true love. Don’t You worry about that. Don’t You worry about that in the least. We really, really, really love You. Believe You me. Praise be to You, God. Praise be to You.”
Is that it? Or maybe it’s both. Maybe he is insecure and has low self-esteem. Perhaps that’s it. Perhaps they see praising god as the cure for god’s insecurity.
Oh, wait. Now I get it. Is the capitalizing of personal pronouns for God, not to mention the capitalizing of the word “God” itself, another attempt to buck up his self-esteem?
“Hey, we think so much of you, God, that we think you’re worthy of liberal use of capitals.” Is that what the capitalization is really all about?
Wait. If Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem are Traits of God…
Hmmm … If God is insecure and has low self-esteem … Well, I’m insecure and have low self-esteem … Maybe … I’m just saying, maybe … Maybe, I’m … Well, it doesn’t need saying, does it? … I wouldn’t want to say my name in vain. And it’s not that I’m swearing that I am god … I’m just saying that if you choose to praise me profusely, well, my blessings will be upon you.
Oh, and if you want to build me a string of houses around the world like the Duomos in Milan and Florence and Notre Dame (before the fire), that’d be great too. Spare no expense. It’s not like there are poor and starving people in the world who could need the money and resources more. Oh, wait. Never mind.
