In the hectic, hurly-burly whirlwind that was life for many of you until a pandemic put a stop to all of that nonsense, some people couldn’t find time for a salubrious exercise program. Some still can’t even with the pandemic.
This isn’t a problem for me. I am retired and I have an empty shell of an existence. To me, a busy day is when I make two trips to the garbage chute, which is located almost beside my condo unit door, rather than one. (Garbage happens. It’s appalling how much packaging you get with some junk food.) Nevertheless, there are people who do have trouble squeezing a fitness routine into their allegedly busy days.
I have a different challenge. I find exercise horribly boring and unpleasant. If it comes down to a choice between working out regularly versus risking a rapid decline into decrepitude and a premature demise, the latter don’t seem like such bad prospects to me. When it comes to not only picking myself up and taking myself to the gym, but also engaging in a little exercise when I’m there, neither my flesh nor my spirit is willing and both are weak.
(On the plus side, my gym is currently closed due to COVID-19. So, the coronavirus isn’t all bad news.)
If you suffer from any or all of these problems—not enough time, not enough will to engage in a regular fitness program, or the gyms are closed—don’t despair. You can include exercise as a normal part of your everyday life in ways that you will barely notice. The following are just a few suggestions on how to do that. You can probably come up with many more. (If you can, feel free to leave them as comments on this post.)
Everyday Exercise Suggestions
- Television remote controls often come wrapped in or covered with heavy plastic to prevent damage during shipping. The manufacturer expects you to remove that plastic before using the remote. Don’t. If there was no wrapping, or if you sent the plastic to the garbage dump long ago, get a heavy-duty, clear freezer bag and place your remote control in it. With the plastic in place, you will have to press the buttons harder to get them to work. This provides more exercise as you channel surf while stretched out on the couch.
- Food-package sizes vary, but the smallest “family size” bag of potato chips I could find was 14 ounces. The largest “snack size” bag was two ounces. Instead of buying two of family-size bags, buy 14 snack-size bags instead. (Adjust this ratio if the store carries different size bags of your favorite chips. And be thoughtful. Buy bags for everyone else in your family too.)
Brits can do the same thing with potato crisps as North Americans do with potato chips, seeing as though they are the same thing. I don’t know about the rest of the world.
Keep the bags in the kitchen, not on the table beside the couch in the living room, den, or wherever you keep your television. Then, grab only one bag before you settle down in in front of the set. That way, you’ll make 14 trips to the kitchen rather than just two to satisfy your cravings for chips during the big game. The walk will do you good. Plus, you’ll have to open 14 bags rather than two, giving your fingers a good workout.
In addition to the extra trips to the kitchen, this will create more garbage for you to haul out, adding a little strength conditioning to your program.
Get Your Own Damned Beer
- The next time your spouse shouts, “GET YOUR OWN DAMNED BEER,” do it. Every extra bit of walking helps. And it might save your marriage. Even if you don’t want to save your marriage, when you struggle through your divorce proceedings you’ll be thankful for the extra boost of stamina that the exercise will give you. (Disclosure: I’m not married. I can’t even think of asking a spouse to get things for me.)
- If you sleep alone, sleep on the side of the bed farthest from the bathroom. That way, you’ll burn of a fraction of a calorie extra when you go to pee in the morning. And, (speaking for a friend) if you are an older man with an enlarged prostate, your middle-of-the-night pee run will do the same. It all adds up. (If you sleep with someone, you’ll have to fight for the extra-exercise spot.)
Exercise Equipment
- Buy an exercise bike. When it’s delivered, have the delivery people leave it at the front door rather than putting it in the room where you are going to keep it. You’ll strengthen your muscles by carrying it there yourself. And, if you are like many people who buy exercise bicycles, that’s just about the only exercise you’ll ever get from it.
- Hire a carpenter to built a large pedestal. Have him or her hoist your most comfortable couch onto that pedestal so you have to climb up to lie on the couch. (Don’t lift it yourself. Couches are usually heavier than bicycles. You don’t want to overdo it.) Then, the more frequently you nap, the more exercise you’ll get. However, don’t make the pedestal more than one or two steps high. As I parenthetically said, you don’t want to overdo it.
- Buy a Roomba (or other brand) robotic vacuum cleaner, but don’t use the automated scheduling function or the remote control if your model has either or both of those features. That way, you’ll have to get up and go over to push the button to set your Roomba off on its cleaning rounds. In contrast, if you don’t have a Roomba you won’t get that exercise and your place will never get vacuumed. But maybe that’s just me.
